


Little Gilded Tank

by LaEmperatrizMariana



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Assassination Attempt(s), Food, Gen, Sleeping Beauty Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 12:46:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12190263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaEmperatrizMariana/pseuds/LaEmperatrizMariana
Summary: Basically, a Transformers version of the "Sleeping Beauty" fairytale, except it doesn't have fairies and it's like set in modern/futuristic times because Transformers tend to be robotic aliens, therefore making this a sci-fi. And it's just different in general.





	Little Gilded Tank

**Author's Note:**

> **Not beta-read.**  
>     
> I also tried to write this all in one sitting because it's a simple story. Although this is supposed to be a silly parody of "Sleeping Beauty" there's like elements of other fairytales too.
> 
> The title is a reference to an alternate title of the fairytale, "Little Briar Rose."

Airachnid made her way to Iacon. Her mission was simple; tasked with taking out a high profile target. Finally, after an entire day searching, she finally found him. He was in the kitchen of the presidential manor with Prowl, supposedly helping him clean cactus leaves. No, the target was sitting on a nearby stool talking to Prowl, keeping him company, while Prowl did all the work. She observed them from the nearby bushes.

Just then, Arcee came into the kitchen and said to Prowl, “Why are you doing all the work?”

“Are you wanting to help me?” asked Prowl, as he quickly cut off the needles from the leaves and peeled them, leaving minimal waste.

“No,” said Arcee, “I mean, Emirate Xaaron is right there.”

“He can't help me,” said Prowl, still focused on the task.

“Why not?” asked Arcee, crossing her arms.

“There was a curse placed on me when I was newborn,” explained Xaaron, “A helicopter was not invited to my christening and got mad about it, that they crashed the celebration held in the Primal Basilica. Unfortunately, I do not know why this particular helicopter wasn't invited or what grudge my family had against them, since they refused to talk about it. But I was informed of the nature of the curse; I will die if I prick my finger with a needle. Cacti have needles, so they are dangerous for me.”

“If cacti are so dangerous, then why did you volunteer to help Prowl?” asked Arcee.

“Do I look like I know what 'nopales' are?” asked Xaaron.

Meanwhile, Airachnid sat in the bushes, conflicted about what to do next. The young pink femme had thwarted her previous devious plans that she swore to kill Arcee, next time she saw her. But then, Xaaron, her current target, was in the room too. Not only that, but Prowl was another witness she would need to dispose of. But policemen like Prowl are required by law to wear cameras. So even if she killed him too, his camera would've already recorded the incident since it films live footage. Too distracted by the possibilities, she failed to realize that all three had left the kitchen and turned off the lights.

She was about to break in and hunt down Xaaron when she heard the sound of a gate opening. It was Xaaron, who had decided to go home early since he didn't want to stay for dinner. The changing of the seasons meant it was getting dark and Xaaron was wandering in the dark streets of Iacon all by himself making him an easy target. But when she made her way out of the yard, Xaaron was nowhere to be found.

Frustrated, Airachnid made up her mind about how she planned to kill him; by pricking his finger. Although she didn't believe in those superstitious folktales, she thought it would be ironic for him to die like that. (If the pricking didn't work, she would attempt to stab him instead.)

* * *

 

She spied on Xaaron for the next couple of days, but she couldn't figure out how he arrived to the presidential manor and how he left. It boggled her mind, since Xaaron was a shiny golden, yellow color and he didn't walk very fast, despite being an agile tank, due to some health issues. He had been leaving the presidential manor by himself. But this time, he wasn't alone. He was accompanied by Arcee.

Since it was still early, both of them stopped at a local market. Airachnid, who already had figured out his routine, disguised herself as a vendor who was offering free samples of homemade cheese. (She had taken a gamble and chose to make the cheese that day.) She quickly cut the cheeses with her extra legs and stuck toothpicks in them. Around this time, there were other vendors setting up their booths, and Xaaron liked visiting the market to help himself to the free samples. (Often, they were what ultimately convinced him on what he should try to make for dinner.)

Arachnid overheard Arcee.

“I wish Prowl took us here,” said Arcee.

“He doesn't?” asked Xaaron, “I thought he liked free food.”

“Yeah, but it's not 'authentic Praxian food',” replied Arcee with some air quotes. (To Prowl's defense, authentic Praxian food was delicious.)

“Is it because he doesn't want others to think he's some sort of gourmand?” asked Xaaron, as he looked at the booths trying to figure out what to try first.

Arcee stopped in her tracks to think about it and replied, “Yeah.”

“Well, it's pointless because everyone already knows this,” said Xaaron who didn't want to have to drag out receipts. Everyone at the presidential manor and even before while at the main Autobot base, saw Prowl stuff his face with doughnuts and other delicious food. He was a gluttonous individual and it was remarkable how agile he managed to remain.  Xaaron stopped at the first booth and tried some hummus. Satisfied, he bought a small tub from the vendor, handing it to Arcee.

Xaaron then tasted some hard-boiled eggs and bought the fresh, uncooked ones. Airachnid observed him, while also selling a couple of small cheese wheels to random shoppers. She wasn't too worried, since tanks usually eat a lot for their size. When Xaaron and Arcee approached her, Airachnid waved her hands and shouted, “Hey! Wanna try some fresh spider cheese?”

It was not uncommon for the vendors to try to get the shoppers' attention. Although Arcee suddenly became suspicious, Xaaron innocently walked up to her booth. Airachnid chose her bait well, since Xaaron was fond of cheese and liked to try new varieties. Airachnid had made the spider cheese herself using her spider-silk to weave the cheesecloth. (This is how spider cheese is actually made.)

Airachnid handed a sample to Arcee, who examined it. Distracted, she failed to notice how pushy she was being to Xaaron, who tasted the first sample and was mulling it over. There was nothing wrong with the cheese. It was made in a nice, honest, and untainted way. Still unsure, Airachnid decided to hand Xaaron a second sample. This time, she decided to poke his finger with the sharp toothpick on the end, hoping to make it look like an accident. She managed to prick his finger, but all he did was let out a small, dainty yelp. He got annoyed by that and tried to walk away.

Quick to store her cheese (because she planned to eat the rest later) and the money she made, Airachnid suddenly lunged at Xaaron. But Arcee was quick to respond and tried to tackle the large helicopter femme. (Xaaron was too heavy for Arcee to simply push out of the way.) Xaaron was in shock but he was more distraught about the fresh eggs he bought. Since they had fallen on the floor, breaking, when Arcee reacted to the threat.

Airachnid and Arcee continued to wrestle as Xaaron tried to get Airachnid off of Arcee. (In Xaaron's mind, Arcee was under his care. So it was his responsibility to protect her, even though Prowl had specifically asked Arcee to be Xaaron's bodyguard based on his calculations.) The other shoppers ignored the commotion because some people just get too passionate when trying to haggle for a bargain. To them, this fight was no different.

It took a while for Airachnid to figure out that Xaaron was meddling because she kept swatting him off because he's annoying. (To be fair, arachnicons like her have terrible vision and this was why she had trouble tracking him down.) Realizing who he was, she attempted to fatally stab him in the spark chamber with one of her legs. But her leg shattered on impact, because his plating was hard.

She screamed in pain, while Arcee tried to detain her. But Airachnid swatted Arcee away too.

“That's what you get for breaking my fresh eggs!” shouted Xaaron angrily, even though Arcee was holding them.

Arcee was shocked too. She had forgotten that Xaaron was a tank. Tanks have the hardest type of plating and are impossible to stab.

Grimacing from the pain, she attacked Xaaron and asked, “I pricked your finger! Why don't you die?!” She then swatted Arcee away once more.

“The curse has long been broken, you fool,” replied Xaaron. “I was destined to die when I was a little younger than what Arcee is right now.” He pulled out his fusion canon and smacked Airachnid off with it. “But like always, I avoided my demise and the curse could only be cured after receiving true love's first kiss. I already met my true love and he's kissed me many times.”

“Disgusting!” snarled Airachnid, grossed out by the TMI. She managed to grab Xaaron's fusion canon and smacked Arcee with it. “Your 'true love' probably sparked you while you slept...”

The statement caught Xaaron off-guard. It explained why his beloved always asked him weird, random trivia questions right before they interfaced. (Perhaps trying to make sure that Xaaron was fully awake and conscious. He loved Xaaron too much to ever disrespect his bodily autonomy.) Taking advantage of his distraction, Airachnid smacked Xaaron with his own fusion canon too. Since she now realized he was a tank, she prepared her missiles, but it was too late. The fight had attracted the attention of armed security, leaving Airachnid with no choice but to escape. 

* * *

 

Disgraced, Airachnid presented herself to her employer after bandaging up her broken leg. The employer emerged out of the shadows. He was a tall, powerful mech wearing a cheap ugly hooded outfit. His voiced sounded familiar, but Airachnid didn't recognize him. Disappointed and aware of what had happened, he said to her, “Why are you here? I know you didn't kill him. Leave my presence at once!”

Annoyed by his rude behavior, Airachnid asked, “Why did you want him killed anyway? The war is over and the Autobots would've used his death as an excuse to continuing portraying us Decepticons as terrorists.”

The mech chuckled, “If the accusation of terrorism was a concern, then why did you accept the job?” He bent over to get to her eye-level and said, “Let's just say he took someone from me, so I found it fitting that someone else take his life in exchange. Now get out of my sight.”

At that, the mech retreated back into the shadows and Airachnid got up. Angry at her now ex-employer, she swore revenge on him too but he was too powerful for her to attack. Defeated, she withdrew and both of them went their separate ways.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I always heard almost everyone compare Airachnid to Maleficent, but only one person compare Emirate Xaaron to Sleeping Beauty/Princess Aurora. And even less, I've not seen any fanfics where this is pointed out, so I felt compelled to do something about it. (Hence this quick little one-shot.)
> 
> And I know what you are thinking, "Who is Airachnid's mysterious employer?" 
> 
> I already mentioned that he claims Xaaron took someone away from him. Therefore, implying that the employer is selfish because he thinks others are his rightful possessions that were taken away. In fact, he's so selfish that his name begins with M & E, "Me". 
> 
> Yeah, it's Megatron. Who else would wear a cheap ugly hooded outfit? And he was mad that he wasn't Impactor's true love...or more like he thinks Xaaron was a major player involved in Impactor's corruption. So he wanted revenge.


End file.
